Saturday, November 21, 2009

According to my family, I need a makeover: Several new looks I am considering for fall

A weekend or two ago, I decided to go shopping to pick up a few clothing items for fall. However, much to my chagrin, my wife decided to turn my solo shopping trip into a family outing. So, we piled into the car and off we went to my favorite haberdashery. Well, actually it was to Dillard’s in the local mall, but haberdashery sounds way more upscale, so we’ll stick with haberdashery for now.

Anyway, when we arrive at Dillard’s the haberdashery, and I begin selecting pieces I like, but everything I pick up my wife and kids veto. I select a pair of shoes, but according to them, I already own similar shoes only in different colors. In fact, my son points out that the pair of shoes I was holding that I really liked looked just like the pair I was wearing. I got the same response when selecting shirts and ties. And they really rolled their eyes when I attempted to choose clothing I considered casual.

Now, I believe that I stay fly, whether the look is business or casual. However, according to my family, my fly-osity is in question. According to my family I am stuck in a time warp; I have been wearing the same thing, only in different colors, for at least the last twenty years or so. They produced the family photo album as evidence.

And furthermore, they insisted that before I buy another article of clothing, I seriously consider trying new looks. But they could not agree on what that new look should consist of. My children could only agree that I should do away with the polo shirts and khaki’s on the weekend and go with something hipper.

My wife thought I should do away with the button downs and loafers and go with something more fashionable, more current. Additionally, she thought I should add some color to my wardrobe, and do away with the navy blues, grays, and blacks. In her words, she would like to see me dress a little sexier.

So, I have pulled together a number of looks. Some are looks that appeal to me, and others are looks that were suggested. Won’t you help me decide which I should choose?

The Skinny Jean Look

This was my daughter’s idea. I informed her that I work in a professional environment and jeans were frowned upon, but she produced this photo of the Jonas Brothers to suggest that skinny jeans could be dressed up with the addition of a few accessories and the right footwear. But there is one deep philosophical question that has dogged man since the introduction of skinny jeans: “If I squeeze my big behind in a pair of skinny jeans, are they then still considered skinny jeans?”. Mull that question over of a moment.

The Badass Professor Look

In response to my daughter’s pop inspired skinny jean look, my son thought that I should go for a more radical, angry black man look, and he tendered this photo of some internet personality known as “The Badass Professor.”

So, I’m checking out this look. Perhaps, I can deal with this; I already have the bald head and beard, though my beard is not as impressive as his. However, I would have to seriously alter my deportment. You have to have attitude when wearing a look like this if only to dissuade snickers and comments about the hot pink shoes.

The Lenny Kravitz Look

I asked my wife to articulate just what sexy consisted of. She instead ticked off a list of celebrities she considered sexy. And Lenny Kravitz appeared at the top of that list. I’m confused here. If a light-skinned brother with an afro is sexy, what do you think of me, a brown-skinned ball headed brother?

But I don’t think this look would work for me anyway. How long does it take him to get dressed in the morning? And above all, I don’t think I am creative enough to put together an outfit like this. Possibly I would have thought of the leather jacket with the faux fur collar, but I would never have thought to overlay that with a crocheted sweater and then accessorize the whole ensemble with pearls and other assorted necklaces. Fashion need not be this complicated.

The Don Cherry Look

Possibly this look would fulfill my wife’s desire to see me insert more color into my wardrobe. Canadian ice hockey commentator for CBC Don Cherry is known for his, umm, unique wardrobe in which he makes very creative uses of color. His fashion sense is so renown that sites exist for the sole purpose of tracking his unique fashion choices. Take a look at this site, Don We Now Our Gay Apparel. Bright colors play in the entertainment sphere, but how would they play in academia?

The Andre 3000 Look

Andre “Andre 3000” Benjamin has always been on the cutting edge of fashion. He seems to have this whole fashion thing down. As you can see from this photo collage, he can put together an outfit for any occasion. For those playful party times, I could wear the costume outfit from the top left wig and all. And because my chest would be bare, it would be considered sexy. As for the office, either of the outfits feathered on the right would do and these would fulfill the color requirement, plus I like to wear hats to keep the sun off my bald head. And the outfit on the bottom left could be worn on those casual days, though I suspect that I would sweat like a slave wearing this get up in Florida.

I’m leaning toward this look, but I have one more that I am seriously considering.

The Prince Rogers Nelson Look

I have been a long time Prince fan. In fact, the very first concert I attended alone was a Prince concert. But who can deny Prince’s superior, though unique, fashion sense?

When I showed the above photo to my wife, she informed me that I already had an outfit like this. She then went into our bedroom and returned with a pair of silk pajamas she bought me for Father’s Day a couple of years ago. She is such a kidder!

But this outfit has it all. It appears to be very comfortable, and I could wear it in situations calling for casual dress as well as situations calling for a more formal look. And you must admit, it is colorful and sexy. I just don’t know if they have those fly little boots in my size.

And in taking even further inspiration from the Prince Rogers Nelson book of fashion, how’s this look for those casual days around the office? I could change the Casual Friday game with this look! It is a perfect Casual Friday look for Florida where it is hot practically year round. And on those days when there is a little chill in the air, I could just throw on some leg warmers and a long purple trench coat without missing a beat.

11 comments:

Diamonds-n-Drama said...

I would go for the Kanye West or Sean 'Puffy' Combs look! I think both em them got a great fashion style!

Max Reddick said...

You are right. I don't know why either of the two did not enter into the equation.

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

This is hilarious. As a college professor and former Floridian, I definitely think the last option could be your "casual Friday" choice. You will have to report back and let us know what kind of feedback you get. :)

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

(By the way - with your new color scheme, the "post a comment" text is the same color as the background, so it was hard to find. Maybe it's just on my computer, but if you aren't getting as many comments as usual that might be why).

River Glorious said...

Hello. I "landed" here because of the mention of crochet, and I was curious as to how you would be able to distinguish between something crocheted versus something knitted. I don't know you, obviously, so have no intelligent or witty comment on your new look. I don't even know if your post is tongue-in-cheek, to make a point. I did, however, find it amusing and your blog interesting.

My only comment is about Lenny's Look: He looks like someone's doll.

Ambar in Puerto Rico

md20737 said...

Im voting for the Bad Ass Professor look I love it.. Your son gets my vote lol Loved the post. I was just telling someone how your blog content usually derives from the interaction from family, friends, and coworkers.I guess thats why I enjoy it so much it could be anyone of us in some of these situations. Let us know which one you choose professor Bad Ass.

Keith said...

You really had me cracking up with this post. So hilarious. Definitely some different looks. I agree with the first commenter. I actually posted some pics of Sean Combs on my blog today.

Vérité Parlant is Nordette Adams said...

Whew! Finding the comment link was like taking the GRE. *wipes brow*

This post had me chuckling the same way Oprah's show last week made me laugh when she had a brother up there who they had to redress because back in the 90s they did a make over on him that was pretty horrendous, this guy here. She wanted to make it up to him. :-) His wife, I think, had an orgasm when she saw his redo this time.

I'm digging the professor. LOL.

joe said...

Not the Lenny Kravitz look, Max! Don't do it!!

Renee said...

You never fail to crack me up but for the love of all the is good and holy don't even consider the Cherry look for a minute. Uggh. This is one cannuck that has been hoping that he would defect to the states for years.

Max Reddick said...

@Kristen

If I wear that on campus, you will not have to wait until I tell you how it went. You will probably read about it in the newspaper or see it on the news!

@River Glorious

Thank you for the positive comments and I do hope you return!

@md20737

Yeah, I'm leaning toward the badass professor look. That guy looks like he means business.

@Keith

Diddy does dress nice. I just can't figure out how to tie those big huge knots he uses for his ties.

@Nordette Adams

Yeah, I checked out the link. I ain't as bad as that guy. He really, really needs a makeover. He can have my spot in line.

@Joe

I don't think I could pull off the whole Lenny Kravitz/Romeo Blue look. Just looks to difficult to put together, and my wife would get angry if she caught me walking around in her pearls.

@Renee

Please do not try to export Don Cherry to the states. We have enough nuts here already!

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