Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Name Is Max Reddick, and I Peek at Booties

"I like big butts and I cannot lie

You other brothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face,

You get sprung!"

Sir Mix-a-lot, "Baby Got Back"

My name is Maxwell Reddick. I have been married just a little over seventeen years now, and never have I been unfaithful to my wife. Now, I have been to the strip club about three times over the course of that seventeen years, but it was early in my marriage and only because I foolishly gave in to peer pressure. But I did not enjoy myself. And oh yeah, I sometimes peek at booties. Am I so wrong?

Yesterday afternoon my sister, the resident black feminist, and I were sitting in the food court of the local mall enjoying some ice cream when I spotted this very attractive, very well-dressed sister coming toward me. We made eye contact, and she smiled and nodded at me, and I smiled and nodded back. And just as she passed, I peeked at her booty out of the corner of my eye. And it was a very nice booty indeed.

Well, my sister stopped mid-sentence and followed my gaze to the said booty. She then pronounced me a nasty bastard, gathered her things and headed for the exit.

I must say, I was really shocked. I have been peeking at booties for a while now, at least since my mid-teens, and I never saw it as so wrong. In fact, my uncle used to say, “It’s okay to look at the pretty ponies. But the trouble comes when you try to mount them and ride them.”

Not only that, I have standards. For instance, I don’t peek at booties at church. And I don’t peek at my boss’ booty. That would be disrespectful. I don’t peek at the booties of my friends’ and colleagues’ wives and girlfriends unless I suspect them of being a less than virtuous. I don't peek at booties when I am with my wife and/or children. I don't peek at the booties of my female friends. And I just peek, not outright ogle.

My sister informed me that peeking at booties was just another form of objectifying women, turning them into sexual objects. I know all about the objectification of women, but I did not realize that what I was doing was that deep. I just thought I was merely peeking at poot-shooters. Most black men peek at booties, don’t they? Maybe it’s something in our genes.

But if it is indeed wrong, I just want to say that I meant no disrespect by it. And I will cease with all due haste. But keep in mind, I’ve been peeking at booties most of my life, and I’ll have to wean myself gradually. Maybe there’s a patch or something like cigarette smokers use to quit that I can wear. What about an eyepatch?

Sisters, and my sister, if I have offended you, I sincerely apologize and promise to try to do better.

Is peeking at booties wrong?

13 comments:

uglyblackjohn said...

Man... You didn't know that you're supposed to say something like "I wonder where she got those jeans, they'd look better on my wife/girlfriend/FWB."?

EVERY guy looks at booty.
It's like a flash of light - your eyes are just drawn to it even without you realizing why.

KST said...

Lol! Um, no. It's okay as long as your neck isn't snappin' and you're not tripping over things. I have to admit though - if I'm with a guy and he's looking, I get a little upset.

Max Reddick said...

Whew! I'm glad I'm normal and not some kinda perv. I would really hate giving it up. It is one of the few pure pleasures in life.

Kim said...

Sigh... Their is nothing wrong with admiring a woman's body I always say God is the Greatest Architect, but this callypgian worship is the worst and a ill in the black community. It is what black women have been reduced to. Now everyone was mad with the Daily Intel for talking about Obama saluting Michelle's booty and then Erin Aubry Kaplan's(black female writer) ignorant article about the First Lady having back. I mean really, with all of our First Lady's accomplishments, that is what you write about. Now folks were .38 hot, but both thought they were actually being complimentary and we can all guess why? Let's bring some big penises to the forefront and see how well that goes over..

El Nuyorican said...

Bro: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

the bootie is sacred! It was MADE to be admired, worshiped!

A woman's behind that most unorthodox of altars to be worshiped on one's knees.

Geez, I thought black men folk had gotten the memo!

LOL

Max Reddick said...

@ Kim

I don't think you understand. I'm not reducing Black women to the sum total of their body parts. The point is a respect Black women. I admire Black women. And one of the things I admire about Black women are their curves. And further, if I were on the market and found a lady with the biggest, roundest behind in the world, if she did not have a brain to match, that would be the deal breaker.

I once read a study that looked at why white women were more given to having eating disorders than Black women. And it was found the body types appreciated by the different groups had a lot to do with it. While white people generally go for that top heavy with no bottom type thing, Black folks go for the big ghetto behind thing.

So just as you would take a peek at a nice looking, well built man, we check out behinds. Without objectifying them and reducing them to the sum total of their body parts, Black women are a thing of beauty.

@ El Nuy

I lost my copy of the memo. Could you forward me another just for future reference.

Kim said...

@ Max

I understand what you were saying. I wasn't bashing

Brothas and their love for big booties and porn.

Issa Rae said...

“It’s okay to look at the pretty ponies. But the trouble comes when you try to mount them and ride them.”
I just cracked up outloud at that. Ridiculous.

I definitely think it all depends on the way you look at the booty. If you have some kind of appreciative tact (which I'm sure you do), then fine. But some men are absolutely disgusting with it, salivating and "snappin" their necks, as KST suggested ... and that's not OK. Especially when in the company of other women.

Max Reddick said...

@ Kim

I love big booties. But I do not love porn. There usually is never a plot, and I live for the story.

@ Issa

You are right. I use appreciative tact, and I do not follow up my looks with catcalls and some lame line.

But there has been one thing I have been trying to figure out for years. Why do brothers try to step to a sister, especially crazed looking brothers who look like they ain't working, and when the sister will not give them the time of day, they curse them out? Has this every happened to you?

udee said...

I have no direct comments on this post, as most of the sentiments I share with the other responders, however I will say that I find your blog overall very enjoyable!! Your stories are very poignant and timely and such debate stirrers!! :)

Max Reddick said...

Well udee, thanks for the compliment. I try. And now that I have found your blog, I will be headed over your way.

Max

Charles J said...

I had to comment about this subject. I've been pondering this same question for months for two reasons: (1) I am a Christian man and (2) because I consider myself an ally to women.

Soo as a Christian I am torn because techniquely I am lusting when I glance at a booty. Unfortunately I was taught from childhood that glanicng/admireing at booties are my right as heterosexual male. Plus they are so nice to look at :-)

As an ally to women I am torn because I want to be geniune and authentic, but I still want to admire a beautiful woman and her nice backside from time to time, but when I do I have been told by women that is degrading, similar to when men watch porn, which is a whole other discussion.

I recently came to the understand that when I stare at woman's booty that I using her not physically but mentally. Mentally the same place of the brain that is used when we men glance at a booty is the same portion that is excited during sex so techniquely I just had sex with a woman without her knowledge with out her knowledge--, That is also called rape! When I put it in that context those glances can add up.

Max there is no drug to stop you from looking at booties, but we can train our eyes not to look and after a while it's gets easier. Believe me its not always easy though. I almost had to walk around with my eyes closed this past weekend at the African American Heritage Festival in Baltimore :-)

Blogger said...

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