Those readers who have been following this blog for a while now know that I practice very poor eating and sleeping habits. And when the two poor practices coincide, well I have very horrible, very bizarre dreams. For instance, when I eat pork or anything fried or spicy before I go to sleep, I usually end up having a nightmare. And when I eat fried spicy pork, the nightmares are just that much more terrifying.
But lately I have been having the same recurring nightmare or, perhaps, fantasy; I am unable to distinguish which of the two it is. This nightmare/fantasy involves me, a prehistoric landscape, Grace Jones, and sex.
Let me begin, though, by giving you some background information so that you might better understand the circumstance. When I was a young man and Grace Jones was in her prime, I had a huge celebrity crush on her. I thought that she could quite possibly be the sexiest woman alive. However, when I mentioned this to a group of my close friends, they laughed at me. In fact, they went far beyond just laughing. They ridiculed me until having been shamed so badly, I never mentioned Grace or my adolescent lust for her anymore.
Now fast forward to the present. Every time I eat something that I shouldn’t and then go to sleep, I keep having this recurring nightmare/fantasy. As I have stated, I have grown quite accustomed to this occurring, but never the same dream over and over again.
In this dream, I am strolling haplessly through this barren prehistoric landscape when out of nowhere Grace Jones suddenly appears dressed in primitive garb and clubs me over the head with this huge dinosaur bone, rendering me semi-conscious. She then drabs me back to a cave where for an unspecified amount of time, she makes crazy, unrestrained primordial love to me over and over again.
In my semi-conscious state, I cry for her to stop. I beg her to release me. I try to appeal to her sense of decently by telling her of my wife and children back at the cave. But she doesn’t stop. She just laughs and sneers and continues her assault upon my poor unwilling person.
Finally, she grows bored of me, and then carries me out of her cave and throws me atop a huge dung heap where I am finally eaten by a horde of tiny little dinosaurs. And then I awake. At first I would awake in a panic, all covered with sweat, but lately I have been waking up… Well, let’s just say I have been waking up a bit more excited than I should be after such a horrific dream.
I firmly believe that dreams carry with them some unconscious meaning, but I honestly do not know what to make of this one. I know what Freud would say. He would say simply that it is my long repressed desire for Grace Jones manifesting itself in my dreams. But this explanation seems a bit too simplistic.
And I tried to discuss it with my wife, but the whole thing just served to remind her that I had stained her nice, new chenille bedspread with hot sauce, and the stain won’t come out, so she went on a tirade. I mentioned it to my brother who insisted that it was my inner-freak trying to come out and suggested a guy only excursion to Mexico, but I declined that offer. If I do have an inner-freak, and that inner-freak just happens to burst out, I would certainly want my wife around. I don’t want some inner-freak I am not even aware of getting me into any trouble.
I even called my mother and father to talk to them about. You don't know how hard it was discussing a matter of such a nature with them, but I was desperate. However, each blamed the other’s side of the family for my depraved condition and offered to help me pray my way through this whole ordeal, but I declined.
I think that perhaps I am working a bit too hard. I fear that perhaps I am becoming a bit unhinged. But if I am going crazy, I wish to be the first to know. Can someone help me interpret this dream?