A quick note from Uncle Remus on Confederate History Month

People are trapped in history, and history is trapped in them. --James Baldwin (via @beautynubian)

Hiya doing, boys and girls? Uncle Remus here. You know, just the other day, I was telling Aunt Jemimah and Uncle Ben that it was high time for me to make a comeback. Don’t get me wrong, though. Many negroes is coon-ing, but ain’t no negro alive able to coon like I can.

But when Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell issued his proclamation earlier today proclaiming April Confederate History Month, I slapped my knee, did a little buck-jump and yelled, “I’m back!” So, I got in touch with my agent, Pat Buchanan, faster than a negro running from work, and wouldn’t you know it, the offers started coming in. Some new station called Fox News fell all over themselves trying to book me.

But then here come the uppity negroes and they liberal friends trying to throw shade on my hustle. They talking about slavery being all caught up in the history of the Confederacy. Slavery? You mean negroes still complaining about slavery? Y’all negroes need to just move on.

Talking about subjugation and degradation and God given, inalienable rights and other big words you just know they liberal friends done put in they mouth. Negroes don’t even talk like that. It’s just too hard to get they big, greasy soup coolers and thick tongues to even pronounce words like that.

Don’t they realize just how romantic a period the ante-bellum south was? Didn’t they see Gone with the Wind? I’m telling you, some folk just ain’t grateful. Shiftless negroes.

And then they done gone to phi-lo-so-phi-sizing, talking about Governor McDonnell and his ilk trying to pull together an uninformed base by appealing to their basest instincts. Or trying to conjure up old worn out images and symbols to excite, or incite if you listening to Max Reddick, a bunch of folk living in the past, too frightened to move on.

But there has been one huge disappointment, though. BET co-founder Sheila Johnson chose to issue a statement condemning McDonnell’s Confederate History Month proclamation. She wrote something about “[I]ts insensitive disregard for Virginia’s complicated and painful history.” Can you imagine anyone connected with BET having the nerve to be all indignant? Talking about the pot calling the kettle black!

But don’t you worry about old Uncle Remus though. ‘Cause they is a handful of negroes over here at Fox—good people, salt of the earth—who told me folk, especially negroes, would respond like that. But they let me know that I was doing God’s work, so keep on grinnin’, get my check, and just move on.

But to show y’all I ain’t in the least bit bitter, Imma’ leave you with an oldie but goodie to remind you of the good old days.

And don’t just sit there like you ain’t feeling it. Just get on up, and join me. And if you feel like it, dance a jig. Be yo’self. Let that negro dialect out. It’s Confederate History Month, y’all! We all should be celebrating!

Do we act differently when we think white folks are watching?: Toward a Definition of Coonery

So, this past Sunday a good friend sent over the above photo and a link to several photos like it with Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele clowning around with some of his interns. The text of the email read, “Have you ever seen such coonery in your life!?”.

I was preparing to type back my assent when my wife came into the room, so I decided to share the photo with her. “Hey, look at this, baby. Have you ever seen such coonery in your life!?”

So, she takes a peek of my shoulder, and then she reminds me that I have many similar pictures that I have taken throughout the years with students and/or assistants. But she doesn’t stop there; she throws in a clincher just before she walks off: “Were you cooning when you did it?”

Darn her for throwing in truth and reality where it does not belong. But I had to admit that she had a point. I have taken similar photos with students and/or assistants throughout the years, and coonery was never my aim; I meant only to have a little fun and/or bond with those young people under my tutelage. Perhaps my judgment of Chairman Steele was colored by my assessment of him which is right there along with foot fungus.

However, just to be sure, I shared the photo and link to my Facebook page with the question, “Is this coonery or a man simply having a light moment with his interns?”, and several people commented. The vast majority labeled his actions outright and abject coonery. However, more than one person just saw a nerdy black man having fun with his interns.

But the comment that caught my attention asked the question, “Why it is always labeled coonery every time a black man acts a little silly or smiles a bit too broadly?” I had to take a step back and figure this one out.

If it were a high-ranking African American Democrat, would we still have come to the same conclusion? Would we have called it coonery if it was President Obama in the photo clowning around with his White House interns? Would we have called it coonery if it was anyone but Chairman Steele in this photo clowning around?

Or do we simply seem embarrassed for ourselves and for Chairman Steele because we believe he is showing his black behind, and white folk might be watching?

I remember when I was growing up, and I could judge the race of the person on the other end of the phone by the manner in which my mother spoke. My mother was an English teacher, so her grammar was always impeccable; however, when she spoke to white people, she added a special tone and timbre to her voice. She seemed to believe that her already pristine speaking voice was not good enough for white people.

And recently during a discussion of culture and stereotypes with one of my classes, a young white male who works as a waiter admitted that he favored serving African Americans because we tend to grossly over tip in an effort to overcompensate for the stereotype that blacks don’t tip. But we don't want to risk being uncouth do we, especially when white people are around.

While I am at it, let me admit my own complicity in this matter. When I am with my own, I gets buck from time to time; however, when I find myself surrounded by those of a certain hue, I tone it way down. I am careful that I am not too loud or too intimidating; big, loud, bald black guys scare white people sometimes.

I remember when in high school the gospel choir advisors took us to a chorale competition at which we were the only all black choir. Before they would even let us off the bus, they gave us the long speech on how to conduct ourselves. They concluded this speech with the admonishment, Don’t you dare get in there and act black on us!”.

And as we waited to perform, we watched the other choirs laughing and joking and being teenagers while we set as straight as possible, quietly and demurely in a corner. Any attempt to smile or laugh or even talk to our neighbor was meet with a stern look of rebuke. And though we were considered one of the best choirs in the region, we performed poorly on that day; it was though our spirit was crushed. But everyone complimented us on how well-behaved we were.

However, I do know and concede to the notion that there are standards of public conduct that should and must be followed, and I am not talking about these. I am talking about those moments when we seem afraid to be ourselves, when we cannot laugh out loud or even smile, when we alter our conduct to the detriment of our selves simply because we believe white folk is watching. Perhaps, we will only be free when we can get past the notion that we must conduct ourselves a certain way simply because certain eyes are upon us.

Do we act differently when we think white people are watching? Can someone give me a definition of coonery?