[Guest Post] Max, I am a white woman who dates Black men, but I absolutely abhor other white women who do the same. What do you think about that?

One thing I really enjoying about blogging is that you come in contact with a wide range of people you might never have come into contact with otherwise.  JuJuBe, a brand new voice in the brown blogosphere, is one of those persons.  Please do check out her site and give her encouragement.

Anyway, we had a discussion around a post I did almost a year ago entitled “Black Mothers, Black Sons, and Little White Girls.”  I found her take on the issue interesting, so I had her write it up. 

I really dislike seeing white women with Black men. Although I do not have children yet, I have always said I would be extremely upset if I had a son, and he brought home a white woman. The thing is, I AM a white woman. AND, I date Black men. So, why do I have an issue with OTHER white women dating Black men?


First of all, I find that most of the white women who DO date Black men do it for all the wrong reasons. Either they look at dating a Black man as some sort of  exciting new  adventure, OR they believe certain myths about Black male sexuality, OR they are trying to rebel against their parents, OR they want a "bad boy" and to them all Black men are "bad". It is not too often that I see white women with a Black man simply because she loves him.


The second issue I have with BM/WF couples is that MOST of the time, the white female wants NOTHING to do with Black females, and in fact disrespects Black females every chance she gets. She insists that if a Black female disagrees with something she says or does it is because all Black females are jealous of her. 

I have heard it time and time again: a white woman saying they she is not racist because she dates a Black men, and in the next breath go on to enumerate the reasons why she is better than a Black woman.


I also cringe when I hear that white women get offended when someone says her child is Black, protesting that her child is, in fact, biracial. It seems to me that they think that being biracial is somehow better than being Black.  And, they often insist on raising their children in their own little lily white world, surrounded only by their WHITE family, living in neighborhoods where their child is the only person of color, having their child attend schools with only white children.


Another issue I have with IR dating is with Black men who ONLY date white women. They give all sorts of reasons for why they prefer white women, and it usually has nothing to do with love, or even with attraction. To them, dating a white woman is "easier" than dating a Black woman. They have the impression that they can do whatever they want and not have to answer for it if they choose to be with only white women. For this reason, I will not date a man who ONLY dates white women.

A Black man who disrespects all Black women and embraces a white woman is disrespecting women as a whole because he is dating a woman based on a stereotyped assumption of behavior. Plus, these men often allow white women to disrespect Black woman, including his mothers, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers. This is deplorable.


Personally, I see so much racism in the white community, including from people who are in interracial relationships, that when I have a child, I would not want my child to date a white man or woman. But of course, I cannot say I would feel that way if the situation actually presented itself. Maybe if I got to know the individual, they may show me something that makes me change my mind about them. 

I know, from my experience, friends and family members of men I date are often reluctant to accept me, for good reason. If 95% of white people ARE racists, which I believe to be true, then it is only natural for the friends and families of my boyfriends to be wary of me until I prove myself to them.


And, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect by any means. I grew up in my little insular white world believing the same stereotypes that are forced down our throats by the media, the educational system, friends and neighbors. Even though my parents were not blatantly racist, this society teaches white children that they are somehow better than other races. Even when it is not put in terms of race, the implication is there. It is there in the television shows we watch, the books we read, the things we are taught in school.

Personally, when I reached college, I realized there was a whole world out there that I knew nothing about, and I was determined to counter my own ignorance with the truth. Most white women do not feel the need to do that. The think that by having a few Black friends, or dating a Black man, they are “proving” they are not racist. Yet they still hold all of these prejudices near and dear to their hearts.


Until a woman is willing to reject and counter the racism in herself, she really should not be dating or marrying Black men, and she certainly should not be raising a Black child!

[For more JuJuBe, just click here.]

This ain’t your grandparents’ drug dealer. Or maybe it is. Eighty-three year old woman charged with selling crack.

When I saw this one, I didn’t know what to think.  We all have our own stereotypical ideas of what a drug dealer looks like.  But with the arrest of eighty-seven year old Ola Mae Agee, that stereotype has been completely and utterly shattered.

On Thursday, May 13, Police arrested the eighty-seven year old Pensacola, Florida, resident and charged her with selling cocaine after undercover sheriff’s deputies video-taped her selling a twenty dollar piece of crack.

Ola Mae got them jumbos y’all.

At first I approached this news item as the story of an elderly lady who was forced to do the unthinkable just to provide herself with the barest necessities, but then I found out that when she was seventy-three, she was charged with the same crime and served two years on probation.  

That makes her a habitual offender.  Ola Mae is a straight hustla’, baby!

But in all fairness, the sheriff’s department also speculates that others may also be dealing drugs from the house.  So, I would like to believe that perhaps she was somehow being manipulated by others due to her old age.  Or at least, I certainly hope so.

California Newsreel Doc Blacking Up: Hip-Hop's Remix of Race and Culture Free Online Until the End of May

California Newsreel is offering up another documentary for free viewing.  Black Up:  Hip-Hop’s Remix of Race and Identity critically examines the popularity of hip-hop among white youths in America.  What is driving this phenomenon, admiration or mockery?  Is this simply another episode of cultural theft?

The video will be available for perusal without charge until the end of May.  After then the documentary can be purchased simply by going to California Newreel's site.  A short trailer is embedded above. 

And a big hat-tip once again to Prometheus 6.  He has a definite knack for finding free stuff, but I ain’t mad at him though.

And John McCain Finally Nears Rock Bottom: Fellow Republicans Mock His Newest Campaign Ad

Conclusive proof that Senator John McCain has outlived his efficacy as well as his facilities of good judgment.  Watch as Joe Scarborough and fellow Republican Arizona Republican John Shadegg, along with the rest of the panel, laugh at McCain’s campaign ad, “Just finish the danged fence.”

He probably will win his re-election bid, but in doing so he will have also lost any self-respect he might have left.  Such a shame.  Who would have thought he would go from presidential candidate to this desperate, pandering foolishness?

So, Lawrence Taylor, you didn't have intercourse with that child but only masturbated? And that makes it better?

Yesterday morning TMZ reported that troubled former New York Giants linebacker and Football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor now claims that he did not have sex with the underage prostitute he procured with the help of a gentleman who now faces charges under federal child trafficking statues for kidnapping, drugging, and offering the child up for prostitution.  And additionally, the condom found in the hotel room in which the sexual act was to have taken place did not belong to him but to someone else.

Instead, Taylor now claims through his lawyers that his purposes for hiring the young girl were purely masturbatory.  No intercourse took place between the two.

You don’t know how much better that makes me feel because when I first heard of the complaints against Taylor, I was somewhat disgusted and more than a bit outraged.  But now I’m relieved to know that he displayed such character in choosing not to participate in the further exploitation of this young lady and took his carnal pleasure into his own hands.

Man, Lawrence Taylor, you have got to be out of your drug-addled monkey mind.  You just masturbated and that makes it alright, huh?  Perhaps this latest claim, if believed by the court may result in lesser penalty, but that in no way makes it in the least bit better.  In my mind, you are still a lowlife degenerate perv bastard.

And it dawns on me that you may have a daughter or daughters yourself.  I remember a while back you were in hot water for not paying your child support.  What would be your reaction if someone kidnapped them, drugged them, and offered them for sex to some perv-ish former professional athlete?

Or perhaps you haven’t spent a whole lot of time with them.  It seems that after football you have spent the lion’s share of your time in and out of jail on crack cocaine charges and procuring prostitutes.  You, and people like you, make me cringe, Lawrence Taylor.

And speaking of cringing,

This video seems to be making the rounds on the internet as of late.  I actually came across it in several places before I decided to take a look:

Is it just me, or is this some abject foolishness?  What is wrong with us?  One the one hand, we claim to be appalled and outraged when our girls are exploited or otherwise misused, but on the other, we cheer and applaud when they are dolled up and paraded before us in hyper-sexualized situations labeled as harmless performances.  A bunch of pre-pubescent girls gyrating suggestively on stage ain’t in the least bit cute.

And recently, I came across a series on TLC entitled Toddlers and Tiaras which features a number of very young girls competing in beauty pageants across the country.  The girls were made up and glammed up to be damned, and wearing sometimes the very skimpiest of costumes, encouraged to strut about the stage in the most suggestive of manners. 

That’s simply disgusting to me.  And from all appearances, it seems this whole spectacle is for the benefit of the overbearing parents attempting to live through their children.

I’m in no way a prude, or at least I don’t believe myself to be, but there seems to be something wholly contradictory in our behavior.  And I really hope that I don’t seem to be speaking to you from atop a soapbox.  But from where I’m sitting, we cannot decry the sexualization and exploitation of our children in one arena while encouraging and applauding their sexualization and exploitation in another.

Certainly, the kidnapping and prostitution of children is not commensurate with these over-sexualized performances, but they do seem to be simply flip sides of the same coin.

Am I wrong?  Am I over-reacting?

Lewis Black Concludes that Glen Beck Has Nazi Tourettes

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black - Glenn Beck's Nazi Tourette's
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Sitting in on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Lewis Black delivers one of his trademark over the top rants in pointing out the irony of Glen Beck taking offense at protesters labeling the Arizona immigration law as Nazi-like.  I always enjoy a good Lewis Black rant, but this one is one of the best. 

The Shopping Cart with the Shaky Wheel Theorem: Is It Just Me, or Does President Obama Seem to Be Veering a Bit to the Right?

Since President Obama assumed the presidency, he seems to be doing a credible job.  He got off to a shaky start, mind you, but since his early mis-steps and mis-calculations, he has come into his own.  I do believe, however, that his early mis-steps and mis-calculations may have given the GOP a foot in the door in the mid-term elections that they might not have otherwise.

But the president does have a certain predilection that I find curious, that I cannot quite figure out.  Let’s see if I can explain it with this analogy.

Have you ever gone to the supermarket and gotten that grocery cart with the shaky wheel?  You know the one.  No matter how hard you try to prevent it, the cart keeps veering in one direction.  Sometimes it’s simply a minor annoyance, but at other times, it bgecomess so utterly aggravating that you just leave the cart there in the aisle in the middle of the store and stamp back to the front to get another cart.

That’s how President Obama’s presidency appears at times.  It seems that despite the direction we would like him to go, he keeps seemingly veering right. 

Take for instance his nomination of Harvard legal scholar Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court.  Admittedly, I know very little about Kagan, but that’s just it.  No one seems to know much about Kagan.  Since she has never been a sitting judge, she has no important rulings that we might have to examine. 

And despite her being a long time legal scholar, it appears she has produced very little in the way of scholarly writing that we might examine to determine her legal inclinations.  Besides that, her record of hiring minorities while serving as the dean of the Harvard’s law school leaves a lot to be desired. 

She’s basically an unknown quantity;  we have no idea what we are getting , so we cannot be positively sure it’s what we really want, if she’s really the change we voted for. 

And in addition to Kagan’s nomination, the evidence of President Obama’s tendency to veer right abounds.  When he assumed office, he kept many of his predecessor’s policies in place much to our chagrin.  And in putting together the HCR package, he seemed to stack concession to the demands of the right on top of concession even when it became apparent that the right just might not be negotiating in good faith.

When we throw in his reluctance to do away with DADT once and for all, his Bush-lite like policies toward the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, his plans to expand offshore drilling, and numerous other lingering glances to the right, you just have to stop and wonder.

Perhaps it is simply a case of political exigency.  Certainly, Kagan’s nomination might be considered to be a shrewd move;  the paucity of information to sift through gives the GOP little ammunition in attacking her which, of course, we know they’ll do anyway no matter who the nominee might have been.

And in the uber-contentious, partisan climate of today’s Washington, such forays rightward might be necessary in order to gain political traction.  And keep in mind that to win elections, to remain in favor, President Obama must appeal to moderates and Independents. 

It is the base from which you receive your support, your energy;  however, no national politician can win without the votes of moderates and Independents.  It’s always a precarious balancing act, placating your base while maintaining the support of moderates and Independents.

And if this is the case, I do understand.  After all, the game’s chess not checkers.  But again I believe President Obama to be doing a great job.  I’m not being critical just for the sake of being critical.  I just wish that every once in a while, he would give just a nod and a wink to those of us who are just a bit left of center.

Do you think that President Obama has a tendency to veer left?  If so, what do you think of this?  Is it simply a case of political necessity?