Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Mote in Your Eye, and the Beam in My Own (I'm Back!)

"It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you

Without a strong rhyme to step to."

Eric B. and Rakim, “I Know You Got Soul”

I know by the many messages I’ve received that many of you have noticed my absence over the course of the past week. Thank you for thinking of me. I assure you that I am okay, and my family is okay. However, the school year started in earnest and so did the sixteen hour days, and I suddenly found myself overwhelmed and disoriented. By the end of the week, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. But after a good night’s rest and a little TLC, I am much better now.

This blog was originally intended to be a summertime distraction. For the first time in years, I planned not to work or travel on behalf of work during the summer. I instead opted to do a little blogging, complete a long list of tasks, and just spend time with my wife and children. And I sat down and planned it all out.

Well, I managed to do a whole lot of blogging, but in the meantime, my list of tasks fell to the wayside. When I complained to a friend that I didn’t feel as though I was accomplishing anything, she posed before me a number of questions that put it all in perspective.

She asked me if, during the course of the summer, I had been up and actually paid attention to the sun rising. Had I laughed so much that my stomach hurt? Had I on occasion slept well into the afternoon? Had I ever taken the time to just sit and think and ponder all those questions I never had time to ponder before? Did I delight in not having to be anywhere at any specific time and using my time as I chose?

And the answer, of course, was yes to all of the above. My carefully made plans went out the window about the first week of summer. And soon thereafter I quit checking my work e-mail altogether. Of course I felt guilty and irresponsible at first. But then I began to enjoy myself. For the first time in a long time, I really began to enjoy myself.

I spent my morning composing blog posts and dialoguing with readers. And I spent my afternoons exploring Northeast Florida with my children. Though I’ve always taken time out for my children, it was so much different when they were my only focus, when my mind was not occupied by job pressures and issues, both real and imagined. And I thoroughly enjoyed all the time I spent with them; I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them all over again.

And sometime during the summer, sometime while doing nothing, I managed to find my way back to me.

So, I have said all of that to say this. I’m back, and I’m back for good. Never will I stay away so long again.

The sixteen hour days are a thing of the past. I’ll have to learn to politely but firmly say no to a lot of people; I know that I’ll have stop chasing every dollar. But I’m recommitting myself and redoubling my efforts so that each and every day I will be here. Each and every day my mission will be to enlighten, to inspire, to entertain you to the best of my ability, and if I do my job well, each and every day I will cause you to think.

I only wish to help you with the mote in your third eye even as I work to extract the beam in my own. Join me on my journey of discovery and self-awareness. Together we gone work this thang out.

Who is with me?


blackink said...

There you go, fam. Welcome back. And yes, let's all enjoy the journey.

Anonymous said...

Welcome Back :) It was unsettling to not have a new post from you to put things into perspective. Just as a side note: Your efforts here have been an inspiration to me. You are truly a quality writer as well as a human being. I'm with you!

udee said...

I do believe in the thought that it is more the journey, than the destination, that is important. And I'm all for journeys, esp those that include the element of increased self-awareness!

Sooo yayy let's go!!

And welcome back ... I was beginning to worry ... a lil

md20737 said...

Each and every day my mission will be to enlighten, to inspire, to entertain you to the best of my ability, and if I do my job well, each and every day I will cause you to think.

Mission complete!! Each time I read a post I revisit memories or experiences that have gotten lost in the shuffle. And your posts inspire me to continue on my journey to develop into a writer who presents cohesive, touching peices. Thanks for being so dedicated to your readers.

Keith said...

Welcome back. Glad to see you are still around. I really enjoy my blog. Your posts are very insightful and interesting. I learn a lot from them.

msladydeborah said...

How you doin'!

Every three month or on an as needed basis, I stop and look at what I'm doing. Especially if it is draining me of my energy, joy or peace of mind.

I am a natural multi-tasking person. Which can be a good thing and also a burden. I learned that no is one of the most important phrases in the English language. It helps to keep things balanced. Because someone always wants someone who produces to do something.

It sounds like you've had a great summer season. You'll remember the time spend with your family more than the time you didn't spend with them. Those memories will be far more gratifying down the road.

We all have periods in life that we have to work through. Sometimes the road we're on does not go the way we planned. But, if you arrive at the same destination it is all good!

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say I noticed you were absent this week, but as you know I was absent myself. I can say that I am very glad you got back before I did. I needed to read something like this today.

Denisha said...

Your summer sounds like & easy! lol great times indeed.

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