Friday, May 29, 2009

Black-on-Black Love: The Anniversary Post

“I only want to be a good writer and a good man.”
--James Baldwin

That photo to your left is of my wife and was taken a year or so after we were married. Our class schedules forced us to take a much belated honeymoon, but we had a wonderful time anyway.

Today we celebrate our seventeenth wedding anniversary (17 years!), and every time I look at my wife, I see that young college co-ed you see in that photograph. In my eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world then, and she is the most beautiful woman in the world now.

I’d like to believe our story to be the stuff great love stories are made of. The other day I responded to a post on AverageBro’s site. The post asked if it were possible for good friends to ever have a successful romantic relationship. I don’t quite remember my answer; I think I replied in the affirmative. However, the answer I gave was not based on experience but simply speculation on my part. You see, our story is much different; it is the story of two avowed foes and the relationship that blossomed within the crucible of that animosity.

When we first met, we utterly abhorred each other. I believed her to be a spoiled brat, and she perceived me to be an arrogant snob. Many hateful, vile words passed between the two of us until finally we refused to speak to one another at all. Often we would sit right next to each other or pass in the corridor without even speaking or glancing in the other's direction.

Then circumstance forced us into direct proximity, and we were required to acknowledge each other’s presence. We began to communicate, and soon we recognized how similar we really were and how much we had in common. Soon we began to actually look forward to the other’s presence. And then fate forced us into a situation in which we actually needed each other.

Often I hear people talk about the moment their spouse asked for their hand in marriage. However, I really don’t really remember who asked who; we were simply taking a walk in the park and talking about marriage and at some point during that walk, we agreed to get married.

We then broached the subject of the wedding date. We agreed on the following Friday. Just like that, let’s make it Friday. So on Thursday evening, she called her best friend, and I called my best friend, and on Friday morning, we all met up at the courthouse. After officially dating for only about two months, we were married.

It was perhaps the most foolish, impetuous thing I’ve ever done, and I have not regretted it for one minute.

That was seventeen years ago today. And of all my accomplishments since then, I am most proud of my marriage. I have always striven to be a good husband, a good father, and a good man. For seventeen years, she has been my inspiration and my muse; even now I realize, she was always that woman in my dreams.

Thank you for a wonderful seventeen years, baby, and I look forward to the rest of our lives.


Anonymous said...

The spontaneity of your story makes it so great. Life is eventful like that isnt it? Happy anniversary.

KST said...

Congratulations!!! This post made me smile. I love to see black couples thriving and happy.

Your wife is beautiful!

Max Reddick said...

@ anon

I pride myself on my planning. But sometimes my best ideas and my best actions have been absolutely spontaneous.


Thank you. My grandfather and grandmother are my role models. They were married over fifty years before the two of them finally passed away.

Though I'm sure they had their disagreements over the years, they remained committed to each other through the good and the bad.

Issa Rae said...

this was so beautiful! congratulations to the both of you.

kenn. said...

I'm a few days late but happy anniversary and congratulations all the same, Max (and wife).

You have once again inspired me on so many levels. Thank you.

Sauce said...


Max Reddick said...

Thanks for the compliments and thanks for the congrats!

@ Kenn

Glad to be of inspiration and looking forward to your book!

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